Do distant relationships really work?

webcamDistant relationship implies two issues:

  1. Dating a woman online who live far away from you (Ex: another country)
  2. Living far away from your girlfriend.

Scenario n°1 – Dating a woman who lives far away from you:

Ten years ago, the social networks and messenger chats were just starting. We discovered at that time worldwide chats without forecasting the consequences. I have an interesting story about it. I met a woman online who lived far from me through ICQ. She sent a picture of her. She was cute. We had interesting online chats. I idealized her. At that time, I lived in the south of France, in a city called Montpellier. Then, she came to Paris to study. I decided to drive to Paris to see her. It was a 7 hours drive. I went there, I met her, and I witnessed I did not know her. She was obviously cute, but I understood it was neither a friend nor a girlfriend. I had everything to do. The online conversation was too partial. I did not think about the actions to take to go further with her. So, we went from place to places in Paris and ending in a pub talking in the afternoon. Then, I left her. It was an awkward situation. Thinking about it, it was logical. If you live far away from somebody and if you don’t have the opportunity to stay some days with this person, there is nothing much you can do. More importantly, you can expose yourself to dangers. In my case, I drove 16 hours on that particular day and almost passed out on the way back while driving. It was very tiring. Then, I stopped this online relationship like any online relationship. That’s why I advise men not to drive more than 1 hour from home for a woman except if you have another REAL reason to do it.

 

Scenario n°2 – girlfriend lives far away from you:

From what I have seen, it never works or very rarely works. I remember a story which is for me the archetype of distant relationship. I met an Australian woman in London as she was on two years work permit. Her boyfriend was at that time in Australia and did not plan to join her. She was around 25 years old. I think it is a bad idea to shut itself in a distant relationship because it is a platonic relationship that is virtual. This example is pretty extreme, but it is a bit the same when your girlfriend lives at more than 2 hours away. Furthermore, in this kind of relationship, we tend to idealize the partner, and it is never good. A relationship is also about living in the presence of someone. When people get into in a platonic relationship, it means they also spend their time waiting. Whatever the age, life is too short to wait for a real relationship. You are not going to enjoy a relationship when you are 80.

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